How can you say “I love you” without actually saying it?

Sacrifice.

Selfishness is innate in human beings. We begin selfish as babies, concerned only with our own immediate needs. As we grow, we learn that other people exist and have needs, as well. But that innate desire to gratify ourselves before anyone else still rages powerfully inside each of us.

But what happens when you love someone?

You put them before you.

As the saying goes, “Greater love has no one than this: that you lay down your life for your friends.”

We all agree that a friend who sacrifices their life to save yours truly loved you. But love isn’t limited to the extreme situations. Even in the almost-unnoticeable daily sacrifices, laying down your life proves your love:

• When you’re watching TV but a chore needs to be done, you get up and do the chore so that your loved one doesn’t have to.
• When the baby cries at night, you get up to take care of it, so your loved one can sleep.
• When you’re picking a place to eat, you cheerfully set aside your preference and choose theirs.
• When you get home and the place is messy, you don’t leave it for them to deal with. You start cleaning immediately, so that when they arrive home they can relax.
• When you’re both exhausted but you need to drive home, you volunteer to drive so they can sleep on the way.

This applies to far more than romance!

• If you ever wonder whether your mom or dad loves you, consider all the sacrifices they willingly make to put your needs ahead of theirs.
• If you ever wonder whether your boss loves you, look for sacrifice. Look for any way in which they sacrifice their desires to care for their employees. If they happily sacrifice to help you, you’ve found a great place to work.
• If you ever wonder whether you can trust a politician, look for their sacrifice. Don’t listen to their words; anyone can say anything. Look for their sacrifice. Do they take as much as they can get for themselves? Or do they turn around and give as much as they can to help others, at the cost of denying themselves what they could have had?
• If you ever wonder whether a gift was truly heartfelt, consider the amount of sacrifice it took to give it to you. Did they invest the time necessary to make sure the gift was something you wanted or needed? Did they spend the minimum amount of time on it or did they make sure it communicated that they care?

Love is demonstrated by sacrifice.

But let’s go even further: true love can’t exist without sacrifice. Have you ever encountered someone who truly loves you but won’t sacrifice anything for you? I haven’t, either.

You know someone truly loves you when they eagerly sacrifice for you.

And the flip side:

You can say “I love you” simply by sacrificing for the person you cherish.

The more you sacrifice, the more powerful the statement is.

But what happens if you always sacrifice? Won’t your partner abuse your trust and keep making you sacrifice everything you care about?

Not if they love you. If they love you, they’ll be sacrificing right back. And there are few relationships more beautiful than when both people are eager to sacrifice to make their loved one happy.

To close, let me quote the immortal words of a 5-year old:

“Love is when you give someone else the last chicken nugget.”